What the F*** am I doing?

For the past month I've been living like a mad man, I don’t know if that’s the best term to describe it but now my project date line is closing in soon and I'm behind schedule, yet I’m organizing an event or I should call it a small get together for my tarantula group, aside from that I must find time to go to the gym, trying to get things done up, down, left, right really is like running away from a black hole.
Even my friends noticed that I'm stressing myself to a point that I'm beating myself up mentally, come to think of it, that's what I've been doing for a long time now... anytime something which I'm not happy about happen, I'll punish myself by doing something else.
"What happen to the Heng I used to know? I wish you could be the passionate Heng that shows up every time we have outdoor activities, like camping, hiking and stuff." Timmy said. I do realised that when I escape from my normal life I'd feel very peaceful. Wish I could archive tha state and live my life at the same time.